The Remarkable Normalcy of Being Disabled and in Love

In a new essay collection, the influencer couple Shane and Hannah Burcaw peel back the layers of “interabled” relationships, including their own. Visit for more information Better with age jeans

Nearly a decade ago, back when platforms like Tumblr still ruled the internet, I stumbled upon a popular blog called “Laughing at My Nightmare.” Thus began one of my first parasocial relationships.

“Mentally and emotionally, I am more than capable of being in a relationship, and that is the problem,” he once wrote. “In my mind, I want to believe that I will eventually find someone, but I realize the chances are slim to none.”

I was in my 20s at the time, like Shane, and also had a lifelong physical disability, bilateral vocal cord paralysis. I wore a tracheostomy tube to help me breathe. And, like Shane, I often wondered whether I would ever find a partner who loved all of me — including, not in spite of, my disability.

Little did I know, I’d already met a history major who loved to quote Shakespeare and would eventually become my husband. And in 2016, Shane received an email from a nondisabled woman named Hannah Aylward, who had watched a short documentary about his life and had a gut feeling they’d get along.

They married in September 2020.

The Burcaws are now well known for their YouTube channel, Squirmy and Grubs, where they have documented their relationship for six years. They have more than four million followers across social media and share a passion for disability advocacy and a bone-dry humor. Even through the tough stuff.