Chuck Norris

[Chrislong]

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis

[rcracer]

Chuck Norris needs a monkey wrench and a blowtorch to masterbate

[Northy]

Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Chuck Norris ripped both of his arms off and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sow his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire.

[Northy]

Chuck Norris enjoys a good practical joke. His favorite is where he removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then he cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting him on his balloon animal.

[josh_smaxx]

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

[Northy]

If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear everything. Chuck Norris can hear the shrieking terror in your soul.

[Northy]

Chuck Norris neither melts in your mouth nor in your hand. He shreds your trachea before ravaging your soul with a combination of chocolate, whickey, roundhouse kicks and death. Oh, and pain. Lots of pain.

[josh_smaxx]

Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.

[showtime]

Chuck Norris puts the laughter into Manslaughter!!

[Northy]

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

[josh_smaxx]

Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

[Chrislong]

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure

[Belsten]

Chuck Norris doesnt wank, wank gets chucked

[i4n]

LoL! This topic has made me sign up and do my 1st post......

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer - pity Chuck has never cried.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep - he waits.

When Chuck Norris does a push up he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

[tjpMT2]

Apparently under Chuck Norris' beard there isn't a chin, there's just another fist.

[ashleyb4]

I wonder who would win out of a fight between the stig, chuck norris and mr T

A

[josh_smaxx]

chuck norris, because chuck norris doesnt just have muscles, he has a muscle and a hydrolic jack in each arm.

[MitchB.]

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. Hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

[RLGfx]

chuck norris isn't hung like a horse.... horses are hung like chuck norris

[dave g]

chuck norris's roundhouse kicks can be seen from space.