What,s the best trick you,ve played on someone

[bodgit]

Sometime last year one of the lads from our club had his computor hit badly by pop-ups after visiting a site of dubious nature.
Seeing he was online I phoned his landline pretending to be a service rep from his internet provider. The names have been partly hidden to hide their identity.
I imitated a cockney voice like Boyce from fools and horses.
The call went like this....

Hello Mr P.... my names Jonathon from Ti..... dont worry sir not trying to sell you anything, its just a friendly customer call to ensure everthing is ok with the service we provide you, only some people have been complaining recently of pop-ups.

Mr P... Now you mention it I have been bombarded with them every 3 minutes a pop-up jumps up its a pain.

Me...Well if you,ve got a few minutes sir we can sort it out for you.

Mr P... Sure anything if it will get rid of them.

Now he,s hooked.
Me...Ok sir if we can just confirm some details we can begin.
Details comfirmed Im straight in with the killer question.

Ok sir most pop-ups appear after people have visited sites of lets say adult nature, Porn for example, have you been on any porn sites recently sir.

Mr P... stammering er well I did go on one but it as by accident 3 weeks ago then the pop-ups started. But only once.

Me... Of course sir I know what you mean one spelling mistake and your screen is full of tits and arses. It would be of great help if you could recall the name of the site sir.

Mr P... eerrrrrr 89.com I think.

Me.... Tapping keyboards Oh my word sir that is the most single source of complaints from 85% of our customers. Thats funny sir you say you,ve only been on this site once by accident.

Mr P ...Yes only once by accident.

Me.. According to our data sir you are a regular visitor to this site, 5 to 6 times a day. A few more sites too sir, boysfood redtube the list goes on over a long period of time.

Mr P... No honestly only once by mistake, my wife would kill me if she found out I went on that sort of thing.

Me... Does anyone else have access to you pc sir while you are at work.

Mr p....No

Me...Then maybe your wife likes to peruse pornographic sites while your at work sir. A lot of women do sir.

Mr P... F****ng hell no she would go beserk if she found out. She hasent been on the pc yet so she dosent know about the pop-ups.

Me... Dont worry sir due to the data protection act I cannot divulge to anyone our conversation your safe with me sir. Right lets see what you,ve been looking at to see if we can find the source of the pop-ups.
Grannies....mature.....oh well whatever you want to do in the privacy of your own home is up to you sir.... milfs... Im new to this sir whats a milf??

Mr P.... eeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr I dont know.

Me .Hmm I,ll have to look that one up....Just a minute oh my goodness. Im sorry sir but I will have to contact the police.

Mr P WHAT?????

Me ..... It seems you have strayed on to some underage sites sir, sorry the police will have to be informed.
I could hear him almost shitting himself them I burst out laughing and he reconised my real voice.
You bast*** he said I thought that was for real then, dont you tell anyone about this.
That night at racing when he walked in everyone shouted

HELLO MR P.... I,M JONATHON FROM TIS....

[Rich D]

good un !

[_sleigh_]

Nothing big, but the simple ones are always the best

I've had a few of the new guys at work with this over the years.

When we have a problem with a HP printer I ask them to log a warranty support call. Because they're new they normally don't know the phone number, so I offer to get it off the web for them. I then proceed to get the HP sauce Head Office number. The conversation that follows probably only lasts a couple of minutes, but it's dead funny listerning to our guy trying desparately convince the HP sauce receptionist that it's definately a printer problem. Normally ends with the person at the other end slamming the phone down.

[Si Coe]

I studied chemistry at uni. In labs we made picric acid - which for those that don't know is an explosive. When its wet its totally safe, but dry its extremely unstable and slight amounts of friction can set it off. Its used in those little 'throw down' bangers kids sometimes have.

Anyway, one of our 'colleagues' (friend is the wrong term for 'annoying person that nobody likes but hangs around anyhow') was away for a few days and his flat was empty. We filled a water pistol with wet picric acid and sprayed his hall carpet through the letter box. When he returned it had dried. One foot in the door and the whole carpet went boom!

It wasn't dangerous as such - not enough to cause any damage to him or the flat (except some burn marks on the carpet) but we hadn't considered that the loud noise in a confined hallway meant he had some ringing in his ears for about a week.......

[jhammond]

DELETED

[johnnygibbon]

late night pretty wrecked. me and an accomplice. went to a "pals" house with a bucket of wallpaper paste and a selection of random very rough porn magazines. half hour later he had a lada riva with a very a porno paint job ( like shanks undertray) left the windows so he could drive it.
he was only upset because " it was a waste of good porn" ha ha ha ha

[big air]

Went to burger king drive thru, me and the wife in one car and the mother in law etc in another,

We parked up next to each other and had the windows down as it was the summer

I noticed the the mother in law had her large coke balanced at the front of door frame of the window,

I then asked her does the electric of her car go up with one touch???
YES she said then pressed the button to show me

The coke actually stayed in the carton until it got to the top of the window then

You should of seen her face as she was trying to stop the window going up