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#1
11-02-2013
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JOKES
This latetly there seems to be so much tntion, I thought I would add this section so we can at least smile now and again.
i relaise some with be just hopeless rubbish but if it just makes you smile then its worth it. I will start with this HOW IS NORMA? A sweet grandmother Telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room." After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow." The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good News." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" The grandmother said,"No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit." TRUE STORY
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#3
11-02-2013
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Brendan Rodgers.
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My feedback http://www.oople.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19395
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#4
11-02-2013
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I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered,'No, this is my first time.' So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty. 'Just a minute,'she said, and walked to thedoor, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.'Do these excite you?' She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well,come on',she said,'We don't have much time.' So Idid the deed. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes. She looked at me with a bit of a frown.'Did you put that condom on?'she asked. I said,'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her. She fainted.
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I live with fear everyday....sometimes she lets me race!!!! Schumacher F1..The original KF. TLR 5.0 AC .. FORSALE
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#5
11-02-2013
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A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.
One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"
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I live with fear everyday....sometimes she lets me race!!!! Schumacher F1..The original KF. TLR 5.0 AC .. FORSALE
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#6
12-02-2013
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Knock,knock
Whose there Smellmap
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#7
12-02-2013
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Sorry three year old daughter.
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#8
15-02-2013
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My wife being the romantic sort, just sent me a text.............
If you are sleeping......send me your dreams If you are laughing......send me your smile If you are eating...........send me a bite If you are drinking........send me a sip ... If you are crying............send me your tears I love you x I replied........ I am having a shit. What should I do
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Mattys the driver,my names carl
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#10
15-02-2013
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How many times have you said ?
"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" Now everyone's frickin moaning about it !!
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Associated B6.1 & B74.2 Lots of bling bits Reedy electrics KO Propo Espirit 4 stick radio Dji Mavic Air2S All round gadget freak !
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#11
16-02-2013
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Little Tim has a real potty mouth. His parents have tried everything but he just swears all the time.
They decide that for every swear word they will replace a Christmas present with some dog poo. Tim, amongst other things wants a new bike. Christmas morning Tim wakes up, looks down to a pile of craps on his bed. Goes downstairs to more under the tree. He heads into the gArden expecting to see a bike under the tree and another massive pile there too. Tim goes inside looking puzzled. His dad, with a grin on his face says "what did Santa fetch you son?" Tim replies " I think he got me a puppy but I can't find the little b****rd"
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