I use one of these
http://www.maplin.co.uk/p/60w-mains-...-station-a55kj. It's 60W and has temperature adjustment too; add in some different sized tips and it's extremely versatile. Very similar to a version that I did my electronics training on many moons ago but a lot cheaper as it's not made by Weller! Maplin have it on offer every now and then and you can pick one up for £35 or so.
This means that I can put a larger tip on it and crank the temperature up for doing ESC and motor connections quickly avoiding lots of heat soak into the internals of the equipment but I can also turn the temp down and change to a smaller tip for changing servo leads etc.
I also tend to still use lead solder as it melts at a lower temperure and IMO flows better than the lead free stuff, I know it's bad for me if I breath it in but what I do now is nowhere near as much as what I used to do.
But as for soldering itself, I'm afraid it's all practice. My advice would be to look at some tutorials on YouTube, get a load of cheap components (resitors, capacitors, LED) and veroboard from ebay and just practice then when you do the larger connections like the ESC or motor it'll be much easier.