Sounds like your iron may not be up to the job either fella, your cooking a large area, rather than spot heating the bit you need to ?
A big help can be to wipe the joint and wire with some flux EVERY time you try to solder it, you can do that to your crap solder and just give it a fast wipe with a tissue, it will leave it it bare and shiny and ready to go again.
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Drive it like you stole it! 
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