I leave feedback once I have received an item, and the feedback that I leave reflects the 'experience' of the purchase, from down to the price, delivery time, correct description.
I have twice used negative feedback, once to lever a seller to agree they had not sent an item, and after some very frank discussions on the phone, got my shipping costs refunded. The second was the seller just didn't send the item, left negative feedback and involved paypal and reclaimed my money.
I have been threatened with negative on the only item I have sold through eBay, where my listing explicitley said for immediate payment, and the man paid his paypal with an eCheque which would take too long, I warned him that if it didn't clear in a couple of days, payment would be cancelled, which I did, he tried to back me into a corner and threaten negative feedback, which I said go ahead, he never bothered.
As far as eBay goes, the feedback system is only there to see if the seller/buyer has had a decent record, and thats it. A seller should leave feedback once you have paid for the item, as that is your part of the deal done, a buyer should leave the feedback once they have received an item and ascertained that it is as described.
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