Well there's no way of doing it and keeping eveyone happy, but if you put in several items, the website could search through it's list, and give you the people who have them, then you have the choice about where to order from, it moves the emphasis back to the customer giving them choice of where to buy.
No system is going to be perfect, but given enough time and effort and co-operation, we could get something pretty close to it.
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