You are not tightening it enough, in your hand it should feel rough but not notchy and in the car should feel smooth when turning wheels. To set you need to hold the spur with your thumb and pin down a front wheel and try to turn the other front wheel, the slipper should turn on the spur before the diff slips, if you are locking the diff up to make the slipper work then your slipper is too tight. It is a balancing act but is easy to do with a little practice, but the slipper needs to be set right or you will eat diff gears especially in perm't 4wd.
HTH SimonW.
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