1) Why not let him try the steerwheel first, if he gets on with it great if not then the acoms should be compatible as 27mhz seems to be more forgiving with mix'n'matches!
2) It'd be fine to start with, but once he's used to it the Tamiya esc doesn't give you much in the way of upgrade options
3) Most lipos should fit and you can get a lipo cutoff like the Novak SmartStop which will let you use the standard esc (amongst others)
4) Sounds to be the best option to me, you can build it together so he understands it and can do his own basic maintenance, plus getting a s/h esc that can cope with the upgraded motors in future is a good idea (again a lipo cutoff can be added to any esc if required)
5) Have you thought about looking at secondhand B4s as you should get one for a similar price to a new DT02kit? Reasoning being that if he gets bored it's easier to sell/retains value, parts are easy to come by and if he wants to start racing he's got a suitable car. The slipper clutch would be a bonus too as the DT02 doesn't have one and the gearing options are restricted.
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